Sunday, January 26, 2014

A Handy Tip For Looking Your Best When Time Traveling

I wonder if the Doctor has this hanging up in his Tardis. And yes, the weekend of infographic porn continues.

I'd be thrilled if I were able to go back to ancient Rome and complain that my Urine mouthwash wasn't genuine Portuguese Urine. I mean, they'd never suspect I was a time traveller then.

Beauty Tips from History
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  1. "So you say your wig is falling? No problem: we'll just mix this lard in with it. There! Oops, that caused the rats to start gnawing on it, so we'll just wrap it in this cage. Perfect! Oh, sorry, that made the wig too heavy for your head to hold it up, so let me just put on this Dr Marvel's Patented Neck Support Prop-O-Matic (TM) to help you with that. Excellent! You're all set for dinner, except that the Prop-O-Matic is interfering with people viewing your dress. So, I've got an extra, larger, wrap-around-dress to put over that! Great, there we go! Well, well, so you can't move? Not to worry: All these come with, as a FREE accessory, this handcart and manservant to push you around, and he will have you to the dinner in no time! Except that the stairs are too narrow for the extra dress and the handcart, so we'll have to shove you out this window. Not to fear, my dear: I will simply encase you in this overly-large barrel with extra padding so that when you hit the ground, you (and your lovely dress and lard-wig) will be unharmed! What's that? No, it won't roll away: your manservant is already attaching several bulky iron struts that will catch when it starts to roll. Of course, that has made it too big for the window, so let's just knock this wall out with sledgehammers. Tut, tut, it's no problem at all, this is just fashion! I say, did I forget to punch airholes in the barrel? No mind, dinner is simply boiled cabbage and nobody showers, so you're better off dead, anyway."

    --18th Century clothier.

  2. You know some of those things are still used. Scary.

  3. True. I use at least 5 of those things. And the scariest thing is that they are handy. They do help in most cases. Check the article by Dany Lee, expert from service.