Star Wars VII: Alternate Titles

Now that we know The Force Awakens next December, I can't resist linking to some alternate titles for the next Star Wars movie. There might even be a link on that page to Team Unicorn's parody of "All About That Bass." I'm so out of touch with current music that I only learn about hits when they get parodied. I still haven't heard the original, but this version is loaded with Star Wars references and costumers from the 501st Legion. It's worth a listen.

How to Break the Writing Rules, Part Three: Rules that Aren't

So far, we've discussed how to use adverbs and fragments to achieve certain effects in your writing. This week, I want to talk about grammar rules that everyone knows about but aren't really rules. I will be relying heavily on this article, "7 Grammatical Errors That Aren't," but I will only focus on the first three rules, since I think those are the most interesting and general ones.

Original cartoon found at this link: http://www.marktoon.co.uk/gags.htm

Split Infinitives--Everyone knows that only Star Trek captains get to boldly go where no one has gone before. However, the practice of inserting words between the "to" and the verb goes back to Middle English. The earliest examples of split infinitives come from poetry, where they may have been used for the sake of cadence. Even if you're writing prose, there's nothing wrong with splitting infinitives to make a sentence flow better or to emphasize a word. Many people believe (as I did before researching this article) that the reason for objecting to split infinitives has to do with applying Latin grammar to English. However, the first people to object to split infinitives didn't make this argument. Today, we are encouraged to organize our words in the order most pleasing for us--and our readers.

Ending a Sentence with a Proposition--As a Midwesterner, I will agree with Winston Churchill (even though he wasn't from the Midwest, and this quote wasn't from him anyway) that "This is the kind of arrant pedantry up with which I will not put." As above, the "rule" about not ending a sentence with a proposition is supposed to come from Latin. However, English has a lot of idiomatic expressions ending with propositions that sometimes do belong at the end of a sentence.

Starting a Sentence with a Conjunction:  I did extensive research to see if this was really forbidden: in other words, I watched "Conjunction Junction" and determined that they never say you can't use a conjunction at the beginning of a sentence (two negatives make a positive, right?):



It's true that conjunctions are used to join things, and yes, you do need them when you're joining two short sentences to make a complex one. But what do you do if the next thought is closely related to what you just said, and you don't want to ramble on and on, like Tristam Shandy delivering a twelve-hour filibuster in the House of Commons (or Senate, or wherever people avoid doing the job we elected them to do)? So, start the next sentence with a conjunction already. But don't overdo it, because you know I believe in nothing in excess and everything in moderation.


What do you think about these writing rules? Do you obey them or break them? Are there any other writing rules you'd like me to discuss in this series?

Epic Rap Battle: Newton vs. Nye

Have you ever wondered how Issac Newton would react to Bill Nye the Science Guy? Well, wonder no more:


Who do you think was the better rapper? I have to go with Newton, better known as Weird Al Yankovic. Vote in the comments below.

Fathers in Fiction

What are your favorite father-child relationships in fiction? With Father's Day being today, and with my son's recent obsession with Star Wars, the power of the Force compels me to post this scene:
 




 Though this is a good one too:
  It seems that there are a lot of father-son relationships in fiction that are problematic. A missing or dead father (Harry Potter, How to Live Safely in a Science Fictional Universe), an abusive father, a crazy father (Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance) father as the enemy...well, there wouldn't be anything interesting in a normal relationship, right? Fathers can serve as both positive and negative role models. They can be motivations for accomplishing a quest. Yet, often, they have to get out of their offsprings' way so their kids can grow up. What are your favorite father-child relationships in fiction?

Aliens and Mothering/Parenting

It's Mother's Day today in the U.S. on the planet Earth. In honor of the occasion, I've been using the hand-decorated mug my son made for me (even though the marker ink came off on my hand) and thinking about alien parents. According to the "Your Inner Monkey" episode of the documentary Your Inner Fish (more influence from my son, as he was briefly obsessed with this series), humans are born with brains that are relatively undeveloped compared to monkeys. This is a feature, not a bug, since that means we have an extended childhood that allows our brains to develop over a couple of decades, giving us time to be socialized and educated.That means human children need more intensive nurturing than other animals that mature more quickly. A lot of this nurturing comes from the child's mother, though fathers, other relatives, teachers, and other adults can influence a child as well.

Do you think sentient life forms on other planets require this much nurturing as they develop? If so, do you think it comes from their mother, or whatever the equivalent is? Other life forms may have more than two parents, or may be raised by other members of their race besides their biological parents. No matter what customs apply, I expect natural selection would still favor parents who bond with their offspring--and offspring who form an attachment to their parents would get more support as they mature.

Here's a video featuring one of my favorite alien mothers, the Horta from the original Star Trek series:

You have to feel sorry for a mother who has to care for an entire planet's worth of offspring by herself.

And if I may insert a shameless plug, you can read about a human mother in my SF Catalyst Chronicles series.

It's Pi Day!

I couldn't resist a couple of videos to celebrate the date. At least this pi has no calories, but you still require a lot of patience to prepare the second one:





P.S. I was tempted to schedule this post for 3:14 A.M., but sadly, that wasn't an option.

Top Ten List of Things/People Who Should be in the Next Star Wars Movie

We've been challenged (again!) this week to share our thoughts as to what should be in the next Star Wars movie. Although I've seen the movies and read a few books, it's been a long time since I've done either, and I'm not sure anymore what's canon and what isn't. Also, I'm not going to write scenes as Briane did so well, because, of course, who can follow Briane? So, instead, here's my Top Ten List of Things/People Who Should be in the Next Star Wars Movie:

10. A new villain/villains: Specifically, I propose they create a race of energy beings that can counter the Force, or even feed on the Force's energy. Let's call them Chlordivores for now. Perhaps they can even possess flesh-and-blood beings in pursuit of their goal. I think such a race will shake up the Jedis and give them a real challenge.

9. Ghosts of Jedis: Have a scene where Yoda, Obi-wan, and even Darth Vader (still a much more impressive name than "Anakinn") battle the Chlordivores.

8. Betty White as a Jedi mentor:

(I have no idea who originally created this image, which I found on Pinterest.)


7. New weapons: Sure, the lightsaber is awesome, but will they work on these energy beings? How about a weapon that can drain energy from the Chlordivores? Alternatively, we need a way to trap them.

Then again, something like this would be cool too:



6. New planets: For starters, maybe they should design planets that have more than one type of climate. As for what I'd like to see, perhaps settings underwater, or worlds sustained by UV light instead of the visible spectrum. The latter might be hard to film since it would be so dark, but maybe you could use bioluminesence as a light source.

5. New aliens/artificial life forms: I won't go into designing these here; I need to save some ideas for my own work.

4. Characters from the first six movies: Luke, Leia, and Han are obvious choices, even if they're older. R2-D2 and C3PO as well should come along for the ride.

3. The next generation: I remember reading in Timothy Zahn's books that Han and Leia had twins; I think they were a boy and a girl. What are they up to now? What are their skills? And did Luke ever have kids? Gotta pass on those midichlorians, after all.

2. The family black sheep: Maybe one of the kids has no talent for the Force, or maybe he/she wants to do something else with his/her life, something the older generation might disapprove of--until it turns out this talent or skill is the only way to defeat the Chlordivores. I want a protagonist who's complex enough to develop over a movie or three.

1. More named female characters: It's about time this franchise tries to pass the Bechdel test.

What do you want to see in the next Star Wars trilogy?

How to Experience the World Like an Alien!

As a writer, one of the most fascinating people I've come across on the internet, not someone I know, but someone I've seen, is Tommy Edison.

I've always wanted to write a story told from a truly alien perspective. Tommy shows me how by just being blind, that he thinks about the world in a radically different way than I do. If I can't see things from a different angle then I can never hope to write my alien story.

Tommy has been blind since birth, and has been putting up YouTube videos forever about what it's like to live this way. I've found them endlessly fascinating because each time I watch one, I learn some new thing I take for granted.

Unfortunately, I can't embed some of my favorites of his, but his perspective on the world is so radically shaped by how he's experienced it. I love this guy.




I love it, "How do you lose stuff? Can't you SEE?"

Once You Die, You Still Have Choices to Make

Attentive followers might note that last weekend Sandra posted a great short video that gave an admirable explanation for Fermi's Paradox.

Well, from the same creator is an even shorter video on what life will finally be like once we can upload our consciousness and live forever.

Enjoy

Danger: Humans

I came across a link to this article which takes a fresh approach to human-alien relations: what if humans were more dangerous than aliens? Here's a video from the Interstellar Safety Council explaining why aliens might not want to take their next vacation on Earth: