Looking for a Job is a Lot Like Publishing a Book

Over the last couple of weeks I've been looking for a job in the Phoenix area.  It's really the first time I've been seriously looking for a job in about 13 years.  It occurs to me there are a lot of similarities between job hunting and trying to get a book published.

The first thing that struck me is that employers have a lot of hoops you have to jump through just as agents and publishers make you jump through hoops.  Some of the hoops now are even pretty similar.

When I was applying for jobs 13 years ago you mostly emailed or uploaded resumes.  But now that's not good enough for employers.  No, no, no.  Instead now you have to go and "create an account" with their site.  During that creating an account you'll probably end up loading your resume and then just for fun rehashing a lot of the same information on it in different little boxes.  Now the stupid thing is you'll probably never have call to go back to this site again.  So you might as well make your password "oovdisjoifewfjewoerlkdfvmoefijw" because who's going to give a shit?  Mostly it just takes up a lot of your time, but hell you're unemployed, so you got lots of time to waste, right?

Publishers and agents to my knowledge don't make you go through that much hassle--as far as I know--but they still think you have lots and lots of free time.  Every publisher and agent will have their own twists on the submission process.  Some will want just a query and others will want a query and maybe an outline or maybe a query and pages.  So on and so forth.  And since it can sometimes be difficult to even find the submission guidelines, you can end up spending a lot of time getting together what they want.

Whether you're looking for a job or trying to publish a book, there's always a song-and-dance number you're expected to go through in the process.  This song-and-dance number usually requires some exaggerating, if not outright lying involved.  With job hunting it's first the resume, which you might have to pad a little, which is really just the warm-up for the main event:  the interview.  That's when they expect you to go in there, smile, act polite, and then feed them a bunch of bullshit canned answers to fit onto their little form.  Most of it you know is a lie and they probably know is a lie, but no one really cares.

With publishing, the song-and-dance is the query letter.  There you're not probably lying, although it might help if you lie and make up some blurbs from Stephen King or JK Rowling.  But let's face it, the query is largely a bunch of canned bullshit that is supposed to represent your book in the way the interview is supposed to represent you as a potential employee.  And in both cases, it's not really an accurate representation.

Both job hunting and publishing can sometimes be cruel and make you think you're making progress when you're not.  Who hasn't had an interview they felt they've nailed only to realize later they haven't?  Temp agencies are especially guilty of poisoning your soul with hope.  In 2001 I went through this a lot.  They pull you in there, tell you about all these great jobs they have, make you go through filling out applications, W-4s, and direct deposit forms like you've already got a job.  And then...you never hear from them again!

In publishing they poison your soul with the request.  Sometimes it's a partial request for your manuscript and other times it's the full request.  Either way you think, "Wow, they must have really liked it to request pages!  I'm in for sure!"  And then...you never hear from them again!  Or you get a form rejection letter.  The best case (besides being published) is they tell you why they didn't like it and maybe provide some tips for revision.  Either way, you're thinking you're so close only to have the rug pulled out from under you.  Wah-wah-waaaaaaah.

Probably the most important similarity is that whether you're looking for a job or trying to get your book published, they will quickly disabuse you of the notion you're special.  Like for instance you've got 16 years of accounting experience and they say, "Oh, that's great, but you don't know Quickbooks?  Then fuck you."  In the same way publishers/agents will say, "Oh, you spent 16 years writing this book?  Meh.  Fuck you.  We'd rather publish Kim Kardashian's cookbook."

That's certainly deflating to your ego, which can get you in a funk pretty quick.  The thing is, with publishing you can always just say, "Fuck this" and put the book in a drawer.  It's a lot harder to do that with a job, though you hear of all these people who have "given up" on searching for a job since the recession in 2008.  It's not a luxury I can afford, I know that much.

The bottom line is both looking for a job and trying to publish a book are time-consuming hassles that require a lot of fortitude and patience.

Exploring Personality: Part Eight -- "Give me something to believe in."

"...if you shake my hand, that's for life." -- Jerry Lewis

Enneagram types 5, 6, and 7 make up the intellectual triad of the Enneagram. These types are data based. They are information gatherers. They tend to react to situations from a more rational viewpoint, especially when compared to the emotional triad (types 2, 3, and 4). Where other types, when asked why they did something, may say, "I don't know," the intellectuals can almost always tell you exactly why they made the decision they made and hand you the numbers to back it up. Their emotional center is fear; gathering information and making informed decisions is a way of combating that fear. The intellectuals are also attracted to ideas and ideals; relationships are less important and can sometimes be a means of achieving other objectives.

The Loyalist

Of all the types, the Six can be the hardest to categorize. That's because the Six is, in many ways, a walking contradiction. For instance, the Six is known as the Loyalist, but the Six is just as likely to be the anti-Loyalist. The problem with Sixes is that they have a fear of committing to anything, a fear which stems from a lack of confidence in themselves with being able to make a correct decision. What if they make the wrong choice?

Sixes deal with this in a number of ways, but the primary strategy is in seeking a trusted companion to whom they can look when making decisions. When they find someone like that, they will willing give over control to that person and become what they are called: the Loyalist. Once loyalty has been given, they will hold to it to the bitter end, even in the face evidence that shows them the person doesn't deserve their loyalty. Or the cause. Because they will do the same thing with a cause they believe. In fact, frequently, the person the Six is loyal to is only an extension of a cause or ideal that person represents, and the cause is where the true loyalty lies.

When a target for this "loyalty" behavior can't be found, they will resort to using everyone. Every decision becomes an opinion poll of all the people the Six knows as she tries to arrive at the best decision. This network of people becomes a kind of security blanket for the Six that he uses to try to cover over his many (and often nameless) anxieties and phobias. the result of this, though, is that they become even more indecisive and fail to make decisions at all. This generally results in a pattern of blaming others for any and all problems the Six has.

Or the Six can go in the opposite direction of all of this and become what is known as a Counterphobic Six. The Counterphobic Six tends to be distrustful of everyone and everything, always doubting the accuracy of the source. There is always some hidden agenda to be found if one just looks. There is always a conspiracy around the corner. In some instances, to say that the Counterphobic Six is paranoid is an understatement. The interesting aspect of the Counterphobic Six is that it is his way of standing up to his fears. Rather than succumbing to them, this is how he fights back, how he takes back control.

Neither version of the six, though, realizes how much fear rules their lives. Like the Three can't buries his emotions under a layer of achievement, the Six buries his anxiety either by allowing others to, as much as possible, make his decisions for him or by rejecting authority.

The strength of a balanced Six is his ability to foresee problems. Since Sixes are persistently worried about what will go wrong or what disaster is around the corner, they are able to anticipate and plan for the worst well ahead of that ever happening. Of course, these are also the guys, when not quite balanced, who build disaster bunkers out in the wilderness as their last stand against the coming (zombie (or whatever flavor you like it in)) apocalypse.

At their best, Loyalists learn to trust in their own ability to make decisions, in essence becoming their own authority figure. They will still rely on a network of friends and colleagues from whom they will collate data and opinions, but they become willing to accept responsibility for their own decisions and take control of their lives. At their worst, they can be paranoid and delusional, believing that everyone is out to get them.

Basically, the Six can be boiled down to issues of trust. Remember, they are an intellectual type and seek out data to help them make decisions. They just have a hard time deciding what data to trust.

Star Wars VII: Alternate Titles

Now that we know The Force Awakens next December, I can't resist linking to some alternate titles for the next Star Wars movie. There might even be a link on that page to Team Unicorn's parody of "All About That Bass." I'm so out of touch with current music that I only learn about hits when they get parodied. I still haven't heard the original, but this version is loaded with Star Wars references and costumers from the 501st Legion. It's worth a listen.

If I Were Doing #NaNoWriMo I'd Be Almost Halfway There!

November is National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo, where people try to write a novel of at least 50,000 words over the month.  Last year was the first time I ever did it officially.  I wrote the conclusion of the Girl Power trilogy, League of Evil that month.  It was much more than 50,000 words.

Fast forward to this year.  I'm not doing it this time around because the projects I'm working on are not going to be 50,000 words.  But if I were doing it, hey, I'd be almost halfway there! 

Conveniently I started my last project, Transformed Into a Goth Girl Too, on November 1 in Roswell, NM.  And I finished it Saturday in Scottsdale, AZ.  After editing it was 24,350 words, which is almost halfway!

Should be on sale later today or tomorrow!

So now I guess I need to make the next one 25,650 words so I'd be all the way done!  That would be like in baseball when a bunch of different pitchers combine to throw a no-hitter.

Anyway, are you doing NaNoWriMo?  How far along are you?  Or are you close to your other writing goals this month?

A Small Favor

I have a small favor to ask that has nothing to do with my road trip.  It's probably something I should have asked about months ago, but I never got around to it.

Anyway, if you reviewed the original version of A Hero's Journey (Tales of the Scarlet Knight #1) published by Solstice Publishing in 2012

Could you copy your review over to the newer version, published by Planet 99 Publishing (ie me)?

There are only two reviews on the new version and one is from someone who gave it two stars because Emma doesn't has all the superpowers.  I mean I guess augmented strength/speed, a sword that cuts through everything (and is controlled by her mind), bulletproof armor, and invisibility just aren't enough fucking powers; she needs to have X-ray vision or whatever too.

Anyway, if you could do that it'd make my day.  Thanks.

Terry Pratchett's A Slip of the Keyboard is a Good Read for Writers of Any Genre

Back in August I got an ARC of Terry Pratchett's nonfiction book, A Slip of the Keyboard.  Pratchett is a British author primarily known for his Discworld series of humorous fantasy books.  He's also written some other books like the sci-fi series The Long Earth.

A Slip of the Keyboard compiles articles, letters, and speeches throughout the author's nearly 50 years in the literary industry.  Much of the early material especially is of value to writers of any genre, not just those in fantasy.  Pratchett discusses a hectic book tour through Australia and has advice for bookstores and authors involved in tours.  Even if you aren't a superstar author, there's still some good advice to keep in mind should you ever have a book signing of your own.  At the very least it might help you keep in mind what authors go through on these tours when you get annoyed about the author not signing your book.

For fantasy authors especially (looking at Andrew Leon), Pratchett has some interesting views of what fantasy is and should be.  As you might expect, he defends the genre from those who think it's just Lord of the Rings or swords and dragons.  He credits Wind in the Willows as the first fantasy book he read, but it was LOTR that really got him interested in the genre.

What writers might not like is his tips on writing are more like non-tips.  From his writing in this, he seems down-to-Earth about his success and sensible enough to realize that there was no Northwest Passage to finding this success.  Basically there's nothing anyone can tell you that can guarantee you success as an author.  Learning one author's methodology and duplicating it is not going to make you as successful as that author.

But speaking of methodology, Pratchett is one of those authors who works (or worked) a lot like I do.  He used to write 2-3 books a year, which is a slow year for me.  He used to use touch typing, before a rare form of Alzheimer's robbed him of that ability, requiring him to use speech-to-text and an assistant instead.  He was an early adapter to computers; one of the articles is a review of PDAs from the early 90s.  I guess now you understand my point about using the same methodology not guaranteeing success.

More than anything, the nonfiction stories in this help to show you what the life of a successful author is like.  As with most authors, it took Pratchett a while to find success.  He published his first book with a small publisher at 17 and published some short stories with a local paper that were eventually rewritten and published as The Carpet People.  It wasn't until the mid-80s that the Discworld series took off in the UK and Australia.  It took far longer for it to catch fire in the US, largely due to publisher incompetence.  Pratchett recounts how the US publisher didn't even spell his name right on an early printing of one book!  Until about the third Discworld book, Pratchett still had to work a day job, first as a reporter and then as a publicist for a nuclear power plant. So persistence paid off.

The only drawback is that the last quarter of the book (approximately) is mostly articles dealing with Pratchett's Alzheimer's and crusade in support of "assisted death."  It's kind of a downer and of course it might not agree with your politics.  If it doesn't, you could probably just skip it.  The rest I think is a valuable resource for writers and readers of any stripe.

That is all.

Exploring Personality: Part Seven -- "I'm watching you."

"I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching." -- Monsters, Inc.

Enneagram types 5, 6, and 7 make up the intellectual triad of the Enneagram. These types are data based. They are information gatherers. They tend to react to situations from a more rational viewpoint, especially when compared to the emotional triad (types 2, 3, and 4). Where other types, when asked why they did something, may say, "I don't know," the intellectuals can almost always tell you exactly why they made the decision they made and hand you the numbers to back it up. Their emotional center is fear; gathering information and making informed decisions is a way of combating that fear. The intellectuals are also attracted to ideas and ideals; relationships are less important and can sometimes be a means of achieving other objectives.

The Observer

Perhaps a better name for the Five would be "the Outsider," though the more politically correct term has come to be "the Investigator." However, of all the types, the Five is the one most likely to be hanging out on the fringes looking in. Or, perhaps, not even looking in, just involved in his own world. The Five, then, is almost the definition of "introvert," inferiority complex and all. It's the person we think of when we hear the word, even if that's not precisely correct.

Fives are ill-equipped emotionally to deal with the world. Easily overwhelmed, they learn fairly early on to retreat into their minds to avoid dealing with emotional conflict or, even, just strong emotions, their own as well as others'. Their inability to cope with social situations leads them to believe that they're not as good as other people, not as talented, not as worthwhile, often giving rise to great inferiority complexes. In an effort to combat these feelings, Fives look for something that they can become experts in, something sufficiently esoteric that they do not feel as if they are sharing a field of interest with others in what passes for their social circle.

The information that Fives gather, the data, becomes a buffer between them and the rest of the world. It is their means of relating to people. For, although they will isolate themselves for great lengths of time while they pursue their intellectual endeavors, they can become quite lonely. It's not that they're anti-social, they just don't have the means of being social. The pursuit of knowledge is their attempt to become needed. The problem, then, is that their desire for their area of interest to be unique can make it so that they are never needed for the knowledge they acquire. Or it can be something so outside of normal that they become a figure of derision. [Think every show dealing with supernatural occurrences here, where you have the expert on the subject (possibly some guy in the police or FBI) hidden away in some cluttered office in the basement whom everyone makes fun of.]

Fives also have a tendency toward collecting but not just for the sake of collecting; it needs to pertain to their area of expertise. Actually, the gathering of knowledge is a form of collecting for them, too, but it can also extend into physical items, though it still needs to be sufficiently obscure. For instance, it wouldn't be enough for a Five just to collect comic books or, even, to specialize in a particular character like, say, Nightcrawler (from the X-Men). He might do those things, but his area of expertise, of special collecting, would be something that most people within even the comic book community wouldn't have heard of, something like Korac, Son of Tarzan.

There's a danger here, too, though. Let's say some production company bought the rights to Korak and turned it into a hit movie creating huge amounts of interest in the character and the old comic books series. You might think this would be an ideal circumstance for a Five, but, no, it would actually be a tragedy. There might be some amount of vindication and celebration right at first but, as the pool of knowledge was spread to more and more people, the Five would become distressed. Eventually, he would abandon his interest in Korak and have to find some other area of expertise. However, the stress of such a process can cause the Five to become scattered and unable to make decisions. Situations like this, or situations in which the Five encounters someone else who is more knowledgeable in his area, reinforce the Five's belief that he is in fact inferior to other people.

However, when a Five's special knowledge becomes needed in a way where only he can meet the need, the Five can become commanding and take charge of any situation which requires his expertise. As such, Five's have no problem getting up in front of people and talking about their areas of interest. [This is where the myth of introverts being scared of public speaking falls apart. Fives have absolutely no problem when they are in their arena. Fear of public speaking is not an "introvert thing."] These are the situations that let the Five know that he is valuable and allow him to, at least temporarily, forget about his feelings of inferiority. But, if the Five actually becomes one of the leading people in his area, he may actually rise above those feelings for good and finally become involved with his community rather than just observing it.