Showing posts with label enneagram. Show all posts
Showing posts with label enneagram. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Twelve -- "You're doing it wrong."

"People call me a perfectionist, but I'm not. I'm a rightist. I do something until it's right, then I move on to the next thing." -- James Cameron
Types 8, 9, and 1 make up the intuition triad of the Enneagram, also known as the body triad because of the tendency of people in this group to say things like, "I knew it in my gut." Reactions can be very instinctual, requiring little thought and ignoring emotions. Intuition isn't well understood by science. It's the brain making a "leap of logic" and, while some studies have shown that forcing people to do something like math intuitively generates more correct responses than people who are required to "logic it out," that does not mean that people who rely on intuition are always right. It's very dependent upon the individual. The motivating emotion for this triad is anger, but it manifests differently for each of the three types (unlike for the intellectual triad where their fear is almost always about decision-making).

The Perfectionist

Despite the fact that the One is part of the intuition triad, the One, or the Perfectionist, is actually the most intellectual (rational) of all the types. This is due to the One's drive to be right, and it will drive the One to all sorts of investigation and data digging. The problem, though, is, frequently, the One is not approaching a topic from a neutral position but from his already intuited position of what is "right" (his gut reaction), and his research goal is not actually to find out the truth but to prove his own point. Not that this is different from non-Ones; the issue is that Ones think they are being objective when they're actually working from a bias, a bias other types might freely acknowledge when doing the same thing. It can make dealing with Ones an infuriating proposition.

On the other hand, it is just as likely that the One is trying to prove his position to himself. One's are full of distrust, mostly of themselves. They don't trust their inner instincts and voices to be telling them the correct thing and, since they are scared of doing the wrong thing, they are always second guessing themselves. Research and facts become their way of supporting their decisions. They give great thought to all the possible consequences of their actions so that they can choose not just a good course but the best course, all of that while still holding true to their convictions.

Ones tend to see the world as very black and white. They don't leave much room for grey, which translates into meaning that everything that is not white is black. It can make them seem very harsh and critical, but that harsh and critical judgement is pointed first and foremost at themselves as they strive to live up to their own standards. Standards which are often higher than anyone can meet, even themselves.

Because Ones have such high standards, they mostly live very constrained lives. Strong emotions, of any type, can be dangerous and are held in check. It's okay to be excited but only a little excited. It's okay to be in love but you can't let it control you. Negative emotions, especially anger, are completely repressed. Which doesn't stop them from leaking out as frustration or annoyance or righteousness. In fact, Ones frequently move through their days in a state of constant dissatisfaction: Things could be so much better if only people would do the things they're supposed to do, if people would only do the right thing, if they themselves could only be "better." It all makes that popular question, "Would you rather be right or happy?" laughable to Ones, because you can't be happy if you're not also right.

Overall, Ones live fairly stressful lives. More stressful on an ongoing basis than, probably, any of the other types. Because it is so difficult to constantly hold themselves up to their exacting standards, some ones develop what is called a "trapdoor mechanism." This is, basically, a "secret life" that a One will develop to which he can escape when his real life becomes too stressful to deal with. I say "secret" because it is not actually always secret, though it sometimes is. A trapdoor may be as simple as a hobby or it may be a secret affair. It can also be an entirely secret persona, like going to a place far from where the One lives where no one knows him and he is free to act upon his impulses and desires rather than what he perceives as correct behavior.

Trapdoors, though granting the One temporary relief from stress can, in actuality, increase their stress levels overall as they are overcome with guilt over their bad or wasteful behavior. Even something as innocuous as a hobby can cause a One to be racked with guilt over wasted time. If the trapdoor is something the One actually perceives as bad, he can be unable to reconcile the parts of his being.

Gerard Manley Hopkins, one of the great 19th century poets, is a good example of this. Before becoming a Catholic, Hopkins burned all of his poetry, something he had come to consider almost the equivalent of a sin. At various points in his life, he would return to poetry and, later, burn it. It's a wonder that any of his works remain and, based on the quality of what we have, a tragic loss that we have lost so much of it due to, to put in the language of Ones, its trapdoor quality.

Ones are also known as the Reformer (or Idealist) because they are prone to taking up higher causes and championing them. They frequently have strong beliefs in truth and justice and can become very persuasive in the service of what they see as a worthy cause.

Ones who are able to reconcile their inner desires with their often puritanical views of the world can become wise and discerning and, ultimately, empathetic, able to reach out to others with good counsel while withholding judgement. On the other end of the spectrum, Ones become rigid and dogmatic, often condemning others while engaging in the same behaviors. This is the stereotype of the fire-and-brimstone preacher preaching love and forgiveness while rejecting "sinners."

Friday, December 5, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Eleven -- "Can't we all just get along?"

"...can we all get along?" -- Rodney King
Types 8, 9, and 1 make up the intuition triad of the Enneagram, also known as the body triad because of the tendency of people in this group to say things like, "I knew it in my gut." Reactions can be very instinctual, requiring little thought and ignoring emotions. Intuition isn't well understood by science. It's the brain making a "leap of logic" and, while some studies have shown that forcing people to do something like math intuitively generates more correct responses than people who are required to "logic it out," that does not mean that people who rely on intuition are always right. It's very dependent upon the individual. The motivating emotion for this triad is anger, but it manifests differently for each of the three types (unlike for the intellectual triad where their fear is almost always about decision-making).

The Peacemaker
Ah, the Nine. The Nine is the most common of all of the types. Perhaps up to 40% of all people. Not only do you probably know one, you probably are one. Okay, maybe not quite "probably" but pretty close to it. You can always tell a Nine by his very distinctive characteristic of... oh, wait... the Nine has no distinguishing characteristic. That's what makes a Nine a Nine. Sort of.

The core motivation of the Nine is peace and harmony. Because they want to keep conflict to a minimum -- well, completely absent if possible -- they are adept to seeing all sides to a conflict and helping to bring about a peaceful resolution, hence the name Peacemaker or, as they are also sometimes called, the Mediator. They can see every side, that is, except their own. Their drive to keep things calm, causes them to submerge their own desires so that they often don't even know they have any.

They also tend to take on the characteristics of the people they spend the most time with, called "merging," which can cause them to appear to be the same enneatype as the person they're with. They do this unconsciously as a tactic for creating more harmonious relationships. You can't have a conflict if you always want to do exactly what they person you're with wants to do.

All of the Nine behaviors are driven by their intuition. They're experts at picking up on nonverbal cues from other people and adapting their behavior to go along with or counter, depending on the need, the other emotional state of the other person. So good are they at sensing the condition of other people, they rarely have any idea of how they feel about any given situation. Questions aimed at them about their own feelings often get responses of "I don't know" or "Well, Bob feels..."

I have avoided personal examples in these so far but, this time, I'm going to give you one, because it's such a good example of Nine behavior:

A couple of years ago, we were trying to find out what my oldest son wanted for his birthday dinner. This should be an easy task, right? Not so much when you're a Nine, which he is. The conversation was something like this:
"Hey, so what do you want for your birthday dinner?"
"Oh, I don't care. Whatever you guys want to have."
"It's your birthday; we want to have whatever you want to have."
"Whatever's easiest, then."
"Anything you choose will be the same amount of easy."
"Whatever's cheapest, then."
"Look, that doesn't matter. Just tell us what you want."
"My brother wants pizza."
"Your brother always wants pizza. What do you want?"

I'm not exaggerating when I say that that conversation lasted for half an hour. It chased its tail. It went in circles. It was like the Scooby gang being chased by a ghost in a haunted house: everyone, including the ghost, running right into everyone else, getting scared, and running away again. We had to sit him down and make him think about what he wanted. He kept deferring in his responses to what he felt like other people would want.

Something as simple as "what do you want to eat for your birthday" became a rather tortuous task for him to figure out because, really, he didn't know. And that was an easy question. That's how it goes with Nines.

Ironically, the Nine's obsession with keeping their environment harmonious very frequently results in inner conflict. The fact that they are always burying their own desires (to the point of losing touch with them) to fulfill the desires of others causes them to feel invisible and creates a deep longing to be noticed. Of course, their lack of initiative and internal drive, actually, to not be noticed (because that can create disharmony) comes into conflict with this, a source of their angst. Also, any desires they have are unspoken and, therefore, unmet. These two conditions, unmet desires and feeling invisible, can create a deep well of anger within the Nine. Mostly, this anger goes unrecognized and submerged, but it can leak out as passive/aggressive behavior that the Nine is oblivious to. Occasionally, when pressed, this anger can result in huge outbursts of temper that quickly dissipate.

In stressful situations, especially situations where they're with people they're unfamiliar with, Nines can become nervous and jittery, unable to make any kind of decision because they don't know the people well enough to facilitate activities or resolve conflict. In situations of overt conflict, Nines may well seek physical refuge and, if failing that, will withdraw into themselves.

Nines who have spent the time getting to know themselves and figuring what their desires are can become very purpose-driven while still being able to resolve conflict with or for other people. They can learn to stand by what they actually want and achieve an internal harmony even in the face of external conflict.

Nines may appear to be introverts because of the way in which they become overwhelmed by conflict, but that isn't necessarily the case.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Ten -- "Because I said so!"

"...let go your conscious self and act on instinct." -- Ben Kenobi
Types 8, 9, and 1 make up the intuition triad of the Enneagram, also known as the body triad because of the tendency of people in this group to say things like, "I knew it in my gut." Reactions can be very instinctual, requiring little thought and ignoring emotions. Intuition isn't well understood by science. It's the brain making a "leap of logic" and, while some studies have shown that forcing people to do something like math intuitively generates more correct responses than people who are required to "logic it out," that does not mean that people who rely on intuition are always right. It's very dependent upon the individual. The motivating emotion for this triad is anger, but it manifests differently for each of the three types (unlike for the intellectual triad where their fear is almost always about decision-making).

The Boss

When you think of the stereotypical, emotionally-detached father-figure who expects and demands unquestioning loyalty and obedience, you are thinking of the type Eight. Eights want to be "in charge," hence the title of "The Boss." They are also know as the Challenger, because they frequently put themselves in positions of challenging authority. It's hard to be in charge when someone else is telling you what to do so they have a tendency to defy authority just for the sake of doing it. This is your true rebel without a cause.

However, this is not the loner rebel out doing his own thing. Eights are almost always extroverts and often charismatic. As such, they are frequently able to gather followers for whatever it is they're doing, leading a rebellion or not.

More than anything else, the Eight wants to be in charge of his own destiny. As such, he hates to have his authority questioned. Above all else, the Eight believes in his own "rightness," whether or not there is anything with which to back up his views. This is what makes him, in his own mind, more suited than all others to be the one in charge. Questioning his authority is equivalent to questioning your own loyalty to him but, even worse, you may cause him to question himself and his own qualifications for leadership. Eights are adept at burying their own doubts, though, and proceeding with confidence, one of the qualities that make people look up to them. No matter if his path is correct or not, he will tread it boldly.

In an effort to be in control of all things and not allow anyone to have power over them, Eights are emotionally unavailable. Love, especially, can give someone else power over them or make them appear weak, so they keep their emotions as bottled up as possible. This can lead them to reject others preemptively. It's better to cut people out when they are in control of the situation rather than to risk being hurt and losing control to someone else or in front of other people.

The typical response to any sort of threat, real or imagined, to the Eight's authority, which can include anything from an actual challenge to just making him look bad in some way, is anger. Anger is the first defense mechanism of the Eight. And the first offense mechanism. It is through anger that the Eight dominates his "foes."

At their best, Eights can fight the "good fight" and do a lot of good. They are willing to protect "their people," because they willingly give back the loyalty they receive. They can come to understand that they can't please everyone (not that they're trying to) and learn to take some amount of criticism without feeling threatened. Often, this state is achieved through surrendering themselves to some higher authority or ideal.

At their worst, they become dictators, believing completely in "might makes right." They use force and violence to inflict their will upon the ones under their power.

It should be noted that Eights are almost always men (just as Twos are almost always women). It's unclear whether this is because Eight behavior in women is culturally unacceptable and, thus, they are "broken" of it early on in life.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Nine -- "I want it all!"

"I want the world. I want the whole world... Give it to me now." -- Veruca Salt
Enneagram types 5, 6, and 7 make up the intellectual triad of the Enneagram. These types are data based. They are information gatherers. They tend to react to situations from a more rational viewpoint, especially when compared to the emotional triad (types 2, 3, and 4). Where other types, when asked why they did something, may say, "I don't know," the intellectuals can almost always tell you exactly why they made the decision they made and hand you the numbers to back it up. Their emotional center is fear; gathering information and making informed decisions is a way of combating that fear. The intellectuals are also attracted to ideas and ideals; relationships are less important and can sometimes be a means of achieving other objectives.

The Epicure

Also known as the Enthusiast, the Seven is best known for her pursuit of pleasure. Her enthusiastic pursuit of pleasure, because Sevens rarely get involved in activities without throwing themselves in all the way. However, this can sometimes resemble throwing yourself into the deep end of the pool without knowing how to swim.

The Enthusiast is the more common name given to Sevens, but I prefer Epicure. So here's a brief history lesson:
Epicurus, the Greek philosopher, believed that the pursuit of pleasure was the greatest good. That's a bit misleading, though, because he defined "pleasure," basically, as the absence of pain and fear. He really wasn't promoting the kind of hedonism the idea is attached to these days. Epicurus believed in a sparse and tranquil life, not the kind of behavior we associate with Sevens, today. BUT! The motivation that drives Sevens in their pursuit of pleasurable experiences is, actually, to get away from negative experiences. That's an important distinction.

Of course, it's a distinction that Sevens are not always conscious of as the knowledge of their avoidant behavior is in-and-of itself a painful thing to confront.

Because even boredom (often especially boredom) is a painful experience for Sevens, they tend to be spontaneous. Or what looks like spontaneous from the outside. The truth is that a Seven's mind is always working and planning and looking ahead to the future and what kinds of things they can do to occupy themselves. This is why they are in the thinking triad. They tirelessly collect data, often becoming instant experts on subjects, so that they can better formulate their plans for the future. To everyone else, this looks like a person who, while in the middle of doing some often highly anticipated event, suddenly wants to take off and do the next thing: spontaneous. But for the Seven, who has planned all of it out in her head in exquisite detail, it's not spontaneous at all. In fact, a Seven can frequently have a very negative response to spontaneous ideas from other people if they don't fit into the plans she's already made. Sevens also respond poorly to being told "no" about pretty much anything they've developed in their minds, whatever the reason. At that point, the person saying "no" becomes one of those negative aspects of life to be avoided.

Sevens are "life of the party" kind of people and are most often extroverts, delighting in being the center of attention. They promote fun experiences for everyone around them and are frequently leading the charge to some new activity. As such, they have a problem with follow through. As soon as an activity becomes repetitive or routine, they are ready to move on to the next thing. Because they are such good planners, though, they can be highly efficient at getting routine work out of the way. Or of coming up with inventive ways of getting around it. However, they can find it soul-killing when stuck in situations where are they are forced to do uninteresting, repetitive labor.

Sevens are especially prone to addictive behaviors of all sorts, especially when "stuck" in situations from which they feel they have no escape. Rather then face their own negative emotions, they can become critical and abusive toward those around them, highlighting others' negative qualities. When allowed to freely express their wide range of passions, though, they can become experts in many different areas and become an unemptying fountain of ideas.

It should be noted that Sevens make up a fairly small portion of people, one of the smallest personality types. It should also be noted that Sevens are much more frequently men.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Eight -- "Give me something to believe in."

"...if you shake my hand, that's for life." -- Jerry Lewis
Enneagram types 5, 6, and 7 make up the intellectual triad of the Enneagram. These types are data based. They are information gatherers. They tend to react to situations from a more rational viewpoint, especially when compared to the emotional triad (types 2, 3, and 4). Where other types, when asked why they did something, may say, "I don't know," the intellectuals can almost always tell you exactly why they made the decision they made and hand you the numbers to back it up. Their emotional center is fear; gathering information and making informed decisions is a way of combating that fear. The intellectuals are also attracted to ideas and ideals; relationships are less important and can sometimes be a means of achieving other objectives.

The Loyalist

Of all the types, the Six can be the hardest to categorize. That's because the Six is, in many ways, a walking contradiction. For instance, the Six is known as the Loyalist, but the Six is just as likely to be the anti-Loyalist. The problem with Sixes is that they have a fear of committing to anything, a fear which stems from a lack of confidence in themselves with being able to make a correct decision. What if they make the wrong choice?

Sixes deal with this in a number of ways, but the primary strategy is in seeking a trusted companion to whom they can look when making decisions. When they find someone like that, they will willing give over control to that person and become what they are called: the Loyalist. Once loyalty has been given, they will hold to it to the bitter end, even in the face evidence that shows them the person doesn't deserve their loyalty. Or the cause. Because they will do the same thing with a cause they believe. In fact, frequently, the person the Six is loyal to is only an extension of a cause or ideal that person represents, and the cause is where the true loyalty lies.

When a target for this "loyalty" behavior can't be found, they will resort to using everyone. Every decision becomes an opinion poll of all the people the Six knows as she tries to arrive at the best decision. This network of people becomes a kind of security blanket for the Six that he uses to try to cover over his many (and often nameless) anxieties and phobias. the result of this, though, is that they become even more indecisive and fail to make decisions at all. This generally results in a pattern of blaming others for any and all problems the Six has.

Or the Six can go in the opposite direction of all of this and become what is known as a Counterphobic Six. The Counterphobic Six tends to be distrustful of everyone and everything, always doubting the accuracy of the source. There is always some hidden agenda to be found if one just looks. There is always a conspiracy around the corner. In some instances, to say that the Counterphobic Six is paranoid is an understatement. The interesting aspect of the Counterphobic Six is that it is his way of standing up to his fears. Rather than succumbing to them, this is how he fights back, how he takes back control.

Neither version of the six, though, realizes how much fear rules their lives. Like the Three can't buries his emotions under a layer of achievement, the Six buries his anxiety either by allowing others to, as much as possible, make his decisions for him or by rejecting authority.

The strength of a balanced Six is his ability to foresee problems. Since Sixes are persistently worried about what will go wrong or what disaster is around the corner, they are able to anticipate and plan for the worst well ahead of that ever happening. Of course, these are also the guys, when not quite balanced, who build disaster bunkers out in the wilderness as their last stand against the coming (zombie (or whatever flavor you like it in)) apocalypse.

At their best, Loyalists learn to trust in their own ability to make decisions, in essence becoming their own authority figure. They will still rely on a network of friends and colleagues from whom they will collate data and opinions, but they become willing to accept responsibility for their own decisions and take control of their lives. At their worst, they can be paranoid and delusional, believing that everyone is out to get them.

Basically, the Six can be boiled down to issues of trust. Remember, they are an intellectual type and seek out data to help them make decisions. They just have a hard time deciding what data to trust.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Seven -- "I'm watching you."

"I'm watching you, Wazowski. Always watching." -- Monsters, Inc.
Enneagram types 5, 6, and 7 make up the intellectual triad of the Enneagram. These types are data based. They are information gatherers. They tend to react to situations from a more rational viewpoint, especially when compared to the emotional triad (types 2, 3, and 4). Where other types, when asked why they did something, may say, "I don't know," the intellectuals can almost always tell you exactly why they made the decision they made and hand you the numbers to back it up. Their emotional center is fear; gathering information and making informed decisions is a way of combating that fear. The intellectuals are also attracted to ideas and ideals; relationships are less important and can sometimes be a means of achieving other objectives.

The Observer
Perhaps a better name for the Five would be "the Outsider," though the more politically correct term has come to be "the Investigator." However, of all the types, the Five is the one most likely to be hanging out on the fringes looking in. Or, perhaps, not even looking in, just involved in his own world. The Five, then, is almost the definition of "introvert," inferiority complex and all. It's the person we think of when we hear the word, even if that's not precisely correct.

Fives are ill-equipped emotionally to deal with the world. Easily overwhelmed, they learn fairly early on to retreat into their minds to avoid dealing with emotional conflict or, even, just strong emotions, their own as well as others'. Their inability to cope with social situations leads them to believe that they're not as good as other people, not as talented, not as worthwhile, often giving rise to great inferiority complexes. In an effort to combat these feelings, Fives look for something that they can become experts in, something sufficiently esoteric that they do not feel as if they are sharing a field of interest with others in what passes for their social circle.

The information that Fives gather, the data, becomes a buffer between them and the rest of the world. It is their means of relating to people. For, although they will isolate themselves for great lengths of time while they pursue their intellectual endeavors, they can become quite lonely. It's not that they're anti-social, they just don't have the means of being social. The pursuit of knowledge is their attempt to become needed. The problem, then, is that their desire for their area of interest to be unique can make it so that they are never needed for the knowledge they acquire. Or it can be something so outside of normal that they become a figure of derision. [Think every show dealing with supernatural occurrences here, where you have the expert on the subject (possibly some guy in the police or FBI) hidden away in some cluttered office in the basement whom everyone makes fun of.]

Fives also have a tendency toward collecting but not just for the sake of collecting; it needs to pertain to their area of expertise. Actually, the gathering of knowledge is a form of collecting for them, too, but it can also extend into physical items, though it still needs to be sufficiently obscure. For instance, it wouldn't be enough for a Five just to collect comic books or, even, to specialize in a particular character like, say, Nightcrawler (from the X-Men). He might do those things, but his area of expertise, of special collecting, would be something that most people within even the comic book community wouldn't have heard of, something like Korac, Son of Tarzan.
There's a danger here, too, though. Let's say some production company bought the rights to Korak and turned it into a hit movie creating huge amounts of interest in the character and the old comic books series. You might think this would be an ideal circumstance for a Five, but, no, it would actually be a tragedy. There might be some amount of vindication and celebration right at first but, as the pool of knowledge was spread to more and more people, the Five would become distressed. Eventually, he would abandon his interest in Korak and have to find some other area of expertise. However, the stress of such a process can cause the Five to become scattered and unable to make decisions. Situations like this, or situations in which the Five encounters someone else who is more knowledgeable in his area, reinforce the Five's belief that he is in fact inferior to other people.

However, when a Five's special knowledge becomes needed in a way where only he can meet the need, the Five can become commanding and take charge of any situation which requires his expertise. As such, Five's have no problem getting up in front of people and talking about their areas of interest. [This is where the myth of introverts being scared of public speaking falls apart. Fives have absolutely no problem when they are in their arena. Fear of public speaking is not an "introvert thing."] These are the situations that let the Five know that he is valuable and allow him to, at least temporarily, forget about his feelings of inferiority. But, if the Five actually becomes one of the leading people in his area, he may actually rise above those feelings for good and finally become involved with his community rather than just observing it.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Exploring Personality: A Reiteration (and a Preface)

Because there seems to be some confusion on this point, let me go back over the basis of the Enneagram again.

As a personality system, the Enneagram deals with primary motivations not behaviors. It is different from other personality profiling systems in that, because virtually every other personality system out there is based off of the Myers-Briggs to some extent, and it is a behavior based system. Yes, behaviors can change, especially over time and with maturity. That means that you may test differently on the Myers-Briggs at 40 than you did at 20. So, although the Enneagram looks at behaviors, it is not looking for behaviors, and that is a huge difference. Your primary internal motivation almost never changes. Seriously. And, no, you can't have more than one primary motivation (which is also why I hate "favorites" lists that have dozens of items on them). With the Enneagram, because it is looking past the behaviors to see what is driving them, people virtually always test the same at 40 as they did at 18. It is very rare (very) that someone's Enneagram type changes, and, if it does, it's usually because they suffered some sort of traumatic event.

Now, this does not mean that you might not get different results on an online test even from week to week, but that's because online tests are generally not very comprehensive. People want to sit down and do the thing in less than 10 minutes, so those things tend to be not very comprehensive. Added to that is the fact that people are often not very honest even with themselves or they might feel differently one day than they did the day before. A cursory 10-minute test is not going to catch those kinds of fluctuations.

However, having worked with the actual tests (the ones that take hours to complete because they have hundreds of questions) and having worked with experts who do this stuff for a living, I can speak for the veracity of the system as a whole. It's possible that personality type is fluid when you're a kid but, by the time you've made it through adolescence, your type is pretty much set. You have a primary motivation that directs the way you interact with the world. It may assert itself in different types of behaviors, mostly based upon your emotional state, but the same motivation is behind it.

And that is why this stuff works so well when developing characters for books. For making your characters believable. If you know what the motivations are for your characters, you can make them behave in believable ways. Nothing kills a book quicker than characters doing things that are, well, out of character. As I said before, "Stupidity is not the same as personality," and having a character make a stupid choice to move the plot along doesn't mean that it's a choice the character would have made. When the audience responds, "He would never have done that!" you know you've done something wrong. When they see the stupid choice coming, though, and fear it, you know you've done it right because, then, the readers are seeing the personality and the motivations of the character.

At any rate, I would suggest that you take the test, not necessarily so that you'll know what type you are, just so that you can see how it works. If you do want to know for yourself, though, be honest with your answers. I left a link to the test back in this post. If you take it, let me know what you are.

Now, on to other things! Other thing, Here's your introduction to the next triad of personality types.
Enneagram types 5, 6, and 7 make up the intellectual triad of the Enneagram. These types are data based. They are information gatherers. They tend to react to situations from a more rational viewpoint, especially when compared to the emotional triad (types 2, 3, and 4). Where other types, when asked why they did something, may say, "I don't know," the intellectuals can almost always tell you exactly why they made the decision they made and hand you the numbers to back it up. Their emotional center is fear; gathering information and making informed decisions is a way of combating that fear. The intellectuals are also attracted to ideas and ideals; relationships are less important and can sometimes be means of achieving other objectives.

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Six -- "I'm special!"

"You are all individuals!"
"I'm not."
--If you don't know, you don't deserve to know

Preface: Enneagram types 2, 3, and 4 make up the emotional triad of the enneagram chart. These three types both act on and react to the world based on how they feel. Decisions are emotion-based and relationships are of primary importance. These three types also tend to be preoccupied with success and status or success as in how it relates to status. These are the romantic, love-is-all-you-need people.

The Individualist


The temptation when dealing with type Four is to think of that weird kid in high school who was striving to completely different from everyone else. Maybe it was the goth girl artist chick who glared at everyone and went on about how she was just "misunderstood" or, maybe, it was the kind of creepy guy who was always taking pictures of everyone for the school newspaper or the yearbook. In the workplace, it could be that guy who refuses to follow procedures and must do everything his own way because that's just who he is. That would be a limited way of viewing the Individualist, because it could also be your friend who is always going on about how one day her one, true love, the one who sees her for who she really is, will come and everything will be right in the world. You know, this person:


See, Fours are also known as the Romantics, but it's not because they're "romantic;" it's because they have this idealized view of a possible world. Sometimes, that idealized view of a possible world requires an idealized, perfect love, the person who will see through them to their real selfs and make the world right so that they are no longer tortured outsiders.

To say that Fours are complicated or that they make things complicated may well be an understatement. Fours both isolate themselves in their individuality and want to be rescued from it. They cling to their emotions, often especially the negative ones, while feeling like they  have something missing in them so become searchers. They sense that emotions are fluid and want to move along with them but have often locked themselves into one particular identity that they can't let go of. They can be aloof while lamenting that their different-ness keeps them separated from people. Because "people" will never be able to understand them.

Fours are the epitome of the tortured artist. And, just as an example (though this is something I will not normally do but am making an exception due to the writing nature of all of this), here are some notable Fours:
Edgar Allan Poe
Virginia Woolf
Tennessee Williams
J. D. Salinger
Anne Rice
Hank Williams
Judy Garland
Bob Dylan
Paul Simon
Angelina Jolie
Johnny Depp

Fours frequently focus on what they see in themselves as deficiencies or, basically, the things that separate them from others. This starts at a young age and they will hold onto these things and keep them secret, building up a "secret self" that no one else can understand or accept. What they want and long for, though, is for someone to come along who will accept and even appreciate this hidden self. As time passes and this fails to happen, the Four becomes  fiercely independent and individualistic, refusing help because the Four must do it all on his own. Even if it is detrimental to the Four which only increases the isolationism.

The biggest obstacle to growth for Fours can often be their resistance to letting go of past, painful experiences that they have incorporated into their "identity," things that strengthen their view of themselves as "unique" and "special" and "set apart." However, when they find that relationship or community that makes them feel accepted, they can become more objective with their feelings, processing them and moving past them more readily. This can open them up to creative freedom where they are willing to share very personal, even painful experiences, with the world.

When put into stressful situations or stuck in relationships where they feel they have to hide their "true" selves, Fours can abandon their individuality and become clingy, emotional sponges, unable to function on their own. They become ingratiating, trying to be noticed and liked, hoping that someone will see them for how special they are while in a place where any creative spark is buried as they push people away by chasing after favor.

One other thing of note: Fours often develop, secret, idealized fantasy selves that they believe is who they really are, if only that persona could get out. Think "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty."

Fours tend to be introverts. Although they may desire acclaim, they are emotionally reclusive, looking for that one (or just a few) special relationship. Basically, they spend all of their time within themselves. They may be empathetic when at their best, but they rarely reach out to the masses.

I'm going to leave you with this song, which strikes me as rather a Four theme song. It's a song I really like by one of my favorite bands. Enjoy.


A last note: I am not a Four. Just to be clear.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Five -- "I'm the best there is at what I do."

"Recognition is the greatest motivator."

Preface: Enneagram types 2, 3, and 4 make up the emotional triad of the enneagram chart. These three types both act on and react to the world based on how they feel. Decisions are emotion-based and relationships are of primary importance. These three types also tend to be preoccupied with success and status or success as in how it relates to status. These are the romantic, love-is-all-you-need people.

The Achiever


Last post (in this series) we were talking about those people that get involved in everything because they want to help. Now, we move on to those people that get involved in everything because they want to be in charge. Not that being in charge is goal; they just want to be as successful as possible, which usually ends with them being in charge. This is that person you knew in high school who was student council president... and president of the honor society... probably captain of the sportsball team... and, maybe, even captain of the debate team. All of that and a 4.0 GPA to boot. None of these things is because the person is more talented than other people or smarter than other people but because the person is more driven to succeed. The classic example of the overachiever.

Meet Type Three: the Achiever.

Achievers derive their sense of worth from being successful. Or, rather, through the admiration they receive from their success. They are driven to surpass those around them in whatever field or arena they're in. They need to be the best. As such, their image becomes an all-encompassing thing for them. Status becomes an obsession.

Achievers are almost always extroverts. They thrive on attention and admiration, and those things can be difficult for introverts to deal with (who certainly don't develop lifestyles of attention-seeking behavior). But Achievers, unconsciously, look for those things that will bring them the most attention. And they're going to look good doing it. They're good at social situations, often charismatic, and adept at getting into the spotlight.

However, their drive for accolades causes them to lose touch with themselves. Of the three emotional types, Threes, so focused on what they need to do to get others to notice them, forget about themselves. From a young age, Threes become inherently good at figuring out what those around them esteem and pursuing those activities. Even if those things are not things they care about or have any aptitude for. For instance, a very academically oriented child may take up a sport (like football) and focus on getting good at that one thing if that is the thing his father holds as valuable. Or a girl may grow up trying to be as boyish as possible to please a father who wanted a son. Generally, by the time Achievers have reached adulthood, they have completely lost touch with the things they were naturally drawn to as children.

At their heart, Threes feel or fear they are worthless. This is the motivation to success and validation. If they receive external validation, it submerges their internal fears. It also submerges their internal desires and can result in "relationships" (including marriage) that only exist to meet external "demands" of success, i.e. "I must have a spouse who is attractive and/or wealthy."

Generally speaking, Achievers are decisive. They know what they need to do to get ahead in any situation. However, put them in unfamiliar surroundings and they can lose the ability to make decisions. If they can't see or feel their way to success in the new environment, they can relinquish their ability to make decisions to those around them, going along with the popular or most forceful opinion. Put into a situation where they can't rise to the top (because there are other more talented people around them), they can become vindictive and undermining, doing their best to sabotage the efforts of others and bring them down to their own level. Or just make them look bad.

When a Three is in a place of security, the Three knows he is valuable even in failure. They can become committed to others and inspire a desire to succeed in those around them. Threes can be very charismatic. Whereas an insecure Three may inspire loyalty from others due to their decisive, charismatic personality, a secure Three returns that loyalty and will strive to lift others up, not just stand on their shoulders.

Just as a note, the Three is also known as The Performer, but that is not meant in an entertainment kind of way (even though many Three do become entertainers of various types). It is meant in the way that Threes must perform at high levels due to their internal motivation to succeed.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Four -- "Let Me Give You a Hand"

When you give..., do not announce it with trumpets...to be honored by others. When you give do not [even] let your left hand know what your right hand is doing. -- Matthew 6:2-3 (paraphrased)

Preface: Enneagram types 2, 3, and 4 make up the emotional triad of the enneagram chart. These three types both act on and react to the world based on how they feel. Decisions are emotion-based and relationships are of primary importance. These three types also tend to be preoccupied with success and status or success as in how it relates to status. These are the romantic, love-is-all-you-need people.

The Helper

Have you ever known one of those people who wants to help with everything, even when you don't want help. They might do things for you (for your own good) that you don't want done or do everything because that's just the kind of people they are. Usually, they'll let you know about it, too. "So-and-so couldn't survive without me; I do everything for him." They like to help, and they like for everyone to know about it. Helping is what type 2 is all about.

The type 2, known as The Helper or The Giver, derives his sense of self worth from what he is doing for those around him. It legitimately makes her feel good to do for others. The Helper is that person who remembers everyone's birthdays and makes sure that a card goes around for everyone to sign. The Helper is that person who volunteers for every committee and helps out with every activity. The Helper is involved. And the Helper is also a flatterer, giving strokes and affirmations to others (with the hopes of getting those things in return).

The problem, though, is that these activities are seldom completely altruistic in nature. In return for all of the "help" the type two is doing, she needs to be acknowledged and affirmed. Patted on the back, for instance. He needs to feel appreciated. However, this need for acknowledgement runs counter to doing the things he does selflessly, so the Helper buries his need for approval, usually under a layer of pride in how "helpful" he is. Or, maybe, in making you feel guilty for your lack of appreciation. [That's your mother, right? "I work my fingers to the bone, and do you ever say even a thank you? You do not. You should be ashamed of yourself."]

Because twos derive so much of their worth from helping and doing for others, they can forget that they have needs of their own, especially if they don't feel like they are receiving the appreciation they deserve for all of the hard work that they do. And how can they? That they need to feel appreciated has to remain unspoken. In public life, this can lead to burnout (often of the crash-and-burn variety) and the sudden withdrawal from all the activities the Helper had been involved in. Of course, sometimes, this creates just the correct type of drama to cause people to heap praise upon the two -- "Oh, we didn't realize how much you did! We need you so much!" -- and draw the Helper back in all martyred and everything.

In personal life, or sometimes in public, unfulfilled twos can become manipulative and bossy, demanding compensation for all of the things they've done. They feel totally justified in their behaviors because they've earned the right to demand things because of their past efforts.

Now, glance back up at the chart and see that the arrow from the 2 to the 8 says "stress" on the 8 side. When the two, who is normally cheerful and helpful and "selfless," takes on too much "helping" or is feeling under-appreciated, she becomes stressed, and the stress is what leads to the manipulation and demands.

So let's look at some environments:

Let's say you have a Helper who works in a healthy, cooperative environment. The Helper is very involved at work, volunteering for committees, cooking treats for the rest of the office, planning events. Whatever needs to be done, really, because at work she feels appreciated and the other staff express how much she means to them on a regular basis and may even do special things for her occasionally, like thank you cards. She feels needed, maybe even loved, which is at the center of a two's emotional needs.

But, then, she goes home to a husband who doesn't appreciate her and never shows gratitude. At home, she is a nag, demanding that he does things for her and withholding favors (of whatever sort) until he does what she wants. She may make sure she is away from home in the evenings (doing things for other people or groups) so that he has to fend for himself for dinner.

Dropping by her office unexpectedly, he would be surprised at how pleasant and good-natured she is. He would astounded that she was doing things for other people of her own accord without asking for anything in return. She would be someone he didn't know, could barely recognize.

If you look at the other arrow, the one that goes to "growth" (also known as "security"), you see the two who gives selflessly. For real. The two is in a place of comfort and warmth and knows that she is valued. This could be the two in the above example in her workplace environment. When a two knows that he is loved regardless of what he is doing for other people, it allows him to give freely without the unacknowledged expectation that others will show their appreciation in return.

Hopefully, you can see the range of behaviors in just this one personality type. We'll break it down into three groups: unhealthy, average, and healthy.

Unhealthy twos (either in general or in specific relationships) are bitter, resentful, and manipulative. If they are not going to be appreciated, they will just take what they need instead. Or try to. This is stereotypical attention-seeking behavior even to the point of substance and food abuse so as to get people to show concern or give them sympathy.

Average twos gives only with the hope of getting in return. They have an over-inflated sense of their own importance and make sure to point out to others just how important that is.

Healthy twos have come to a point where they understand that they have value in their own right and do not need others to validate them. They can become truly altruistic and humble, giving without any thought of receiving anything in return.

Culturally, we have made "the mother" the stereotypical image of The Helper, but there's much more to the two than just being "mom." There's a whole range of available behaviors and situations in which to bring out those behaviors.

Oh, it should be noted: Helpers are generally extroverts but, then, most people are extroverts, so I don't know if that's saying anything extraordinary. The important thing to remember is that a two can also be an introvert, which will, of course, affect the ways in which he goes about helping people.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Three -- "What's My Type?"

"I know there's all this talk about my charisma deficit and I have to admit that I'm not a wild, in-your-face actor. It's not my nature to be flashy or extroverted, and that's why I see it a great challenge to me as an actor to be able to play against type and shake up people's perceptions of me." -- Tobey Maguire


One of the most common ways that writers move the plot forward in their books is to have a character do something that would generally be considered "out of character" for that character. What this usually means is they have an otherwise "smart" character do something stupid. The understood reasoning is that, hey, everyone does something stupid now and then, right? Those things never ring true to me. Do you know why? They're not.

Stupidity is not the same as personality. That is to say, even a stupid action has to fit within the character's personality. That's not always an easy thing to do, especially when we need a character to act in a way that the audience won't expect.

This is where the Enneagram can be very useful as a typing system for your characters.

As I was discussing last time, personality typing systems tend to be very static, meaning you are this or you are that, and there is no room for any variation. I'm going to bet, though, that we've all had one of those situations where you've run into someone you know in an environment you're not used to seeing that person in and had the thought, "Who was that guy? That's not the person I know." The Enneagram is the only typing system I've encountered that explains those variations beyond that it was just an "aberration."


The Enneagram divides personality into nine types and, as you can see from the diagram, the types are related to each other. So let's have a brief overview, shall we?

The types:
1. Perfectionist
2. Giver
3. Performer
4. Romantic
5. Observer
6. Loyalist or the Skeptic
7. Epicure
8. Boss
9. Mediator
[I do want to point out that depending upon your source, the names of the nine types may differ, especially since many of them have been given new names to give them a more positive spin. For instance, the 8 is sometimes, now, called "the Protector" and the 1 is called "the Reformer." The basic definitions of each type are still the same no matter what label they've attached. A rose is, after all, still a rose.]

These are the nine fundamental types, but it's a little more complex than just that, because each type has a wing that influences it. For instance, type 9 can have either an 8-wing or a 1-wing which will influence the 9s outlook on the world, but we'll get more into that later.

The types are also grouped into three centers that deal with how those types relate to the world. Types 2, 3, and 4 are the emotional center. Those types respond to events on an emotional level. Decisions are based on their emotional response without allowing time for thought or checking facts. Types 5, 6, and 7 are the intellectual center. They require data before responding or making a decision; however, they will often react on that data without regard to how it will affect other people. They ignore the emotional impact because the "facts" are on their side. 8, 9, and 1 are the instinctual center. They are somewhat of a blend of the other two centers. They want the facts but, in the end, they respond from their "gut" reaction. What "feels" right. [This is not to be confused with "feeling" as an emotion. The emotional group does not respond from what "feels right;" they respond from a specific emotion.]

Now, here's the thing that makes the Enneagram stand out for me:
You've probably noticed that the diagram has lines connecting some of the types. Those lines are important, not just a funky design. Remember how I said that the Enneagram explained how people can seem like aliens sometimes? The lines show which types are connected.

So let's take 9 as an example (it's right there at the top, after all):
Each type has a stress point and a security point. Typically, the 9 is going along in its Mediator kind of way (the 9 is also often known as the Peacekeeper) but, when its at its security point, the place where the 9 feels relaxed and comfortable, it slides into the role of the 3, the Performer. However, when the 9 is at its stress point (this does not necessarily mean "stressed out," though it can mean that;  it just means in a place where the 9 is not comfortable), it becomes the Skeptic and feels like everyone is out to get it. Persecuted, so to speak.

So that's what the lines are for and, briefly, tell us how specific Personalities can act in ways we don't recognize. I'll get more into all of that as I discuss each of the types.

If you're curious as to your own type, there are tests available online. The "best" ones cost money (meaning, basically, the ones that take the most time to take), but there are various free ones available. Here's a link to one that is at least above average and probably the best free one I've seen. If you're an author, I'd say to go take it to give you some context into all of this personality stuff and see how you relate to it.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Exploring Personality: Part Two -- "What's My Motivation?"

Without a doubt, the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator is the most well know personality typing system in existence. And why not? It's been around a long time. The first of its kind. It's been used by the government (heck, it may still be being used by the government), especially the military, and corporations of all sizes. It's a good indicator of patterns of behavior.

As such, it can be a useful tool for writers when trying to develop Personalities for their books. And, yes, let's call them Personalities, because not all characters have personalities. Don't get me wrong, that's not always a bad thing; two-dimensional (even one-dimensional!) characters have their place, but they are hardly Personalities.

But there's a problem... Okay, actually, there are a lot of problems. Myers-Briggs falls short of being useful in any kind of practical sense. It's the same kind of useful as deciding things like hair color: brown or blond, as in "What attitude does this Personality have: extroversion or introversion?" It will tell you behaviors, but it won't tell you motivations. At least not motivations that are more than surface motivations like:
"I want to go to a party" because the character is an extrovert. Or
"I want to stay home" because the character is an introvert.
It may as well be, "I need to put on sunscreen because I have fair skin."

Besides, Myers-Briggs is kind of clunky. I mean that in the "overly complicated" sense. It's like trying to do Calculus with a slide rule
Image by Dicklyon and used under the linked license.
instead of the calculator sitting next to you (and I had a friend in high school who used to do that just for "fun."). Having a degree in psychology, I don't say this lightly. In general, Myers-Briggs is overly complex but, then, it wasn't designed by or for lay people. It was designed by and for psychologists.

The Keirsey Temperament Sorter, which is what I'll call an elaboration of the Myers-Briggs, is somewhat better seeing as how it actually provides the information in a format that most anyone can understand. It's actually the most used personality assessment system in the world. However, the Keirsey system relies even more on behaviors, observable data, than Myers-Briggs, making it, by its very nature, more rigid. You are this or you are that. It has no room for aberrations in behavior, no room for you to act outside of type.

Which doesn't mean that it can't be useful for writers in a very general sense. Again, if you need to know how your character will act in a given situation, and you have put that character in a Keirsey box, the Keirsey system will tell you how your character should behave.

But, still, we're missing Motivation. Without Motivation, we don't really have Personality. Especially without the allowance for characters to act outside of, well, character.

Generally speaking, personality typing systems don't actually have anything to do with underlying personalities, only behaviors caused by those personalities. "When you go to a party, do you like to retreat into a corner with a small group or do you want to be the center of attention?" See, that's behavior focused. But why are you at the party to begin with? There can be all kinds of motivations for that, and that's where things begin to get interesting.

I'll admit that of all the systems I looked at during college, the Keirsey is the one I liked best. But that's because all of the other systems were just some sort of variation on the Keirsey and/or the Myers-Briggs. Based on behaviors that could be observed and measured, not any kind of internal drives.

Then, well out of school, I found the Enneagram of Personality.
The Enneagram, at its heart, is based on personal motivations and drives. Rather than express how one reacts to the world, it expresses how one acts, or attempts to act, upon the world. It also accounts for what can be seen as out of character shifts by people. For instance, have you ever run into someone you know in a place you don't normally encounter them and it seems that he's someone other person entirely? You come away thinking, "Who was that person?" The Enneagram accounts for that. The Keirsey system doesn't even attempt to.

One of the great failings in many stories, whether they be books or movies or TV shows, is a lack of understanding by the author about their own characters' motivational factors. Or, rather, the lack of any internal motivational schemes. The author needs certain things to happen for the benefit of the plot and just has some character do the necessary actions. [I don't know if the books are this way, but I know the TV show Game of Thrones is full of characters doing things that don't make any sense for them to do. There's only so much of saying "why did he do that?" that I can take.] Now, I understand moving the plot along as well as the next guy, but you need to give your characters a reason for doing the things they do; that's what makes them Personalities and not just characters.

I'm not going to pretend to be an expert on the Enneagram, but I have read a couple of books on it, and I think it's a great system to help authors in designing Personalities for their stories. Hopefully, this series will help give insight into why different types of people act the way they do which will, in turn, give you insight into designing realistic Personalities who do things because of internal motivations and not because of the arbitrary needs of the plot.